On Thursday I saw this post online from the actor Tom Hanks:
"Monty. Deep brown eyes, noble demeanor, finest dog ever. A sad day. Goodbye Big Boy. Hanx http://t.co/32Q3durN -- tomhanks (@tomhanks)"
My reply:
@tomhanks Very sad day. Very beautiful doggy. There are no words. Said bye to my Desi on 11/23 Worst day ever. No getting over it. So sorry. -- DennisLarkin (@DennisLarkin)
And still today I am grieving as if it just happened. It will be 2 months on Monday and every time I think about it, I feel like I'm going to hurl my guts up. The pain has NOT LESSENED A BIT. It's less frequent but ONLY because I can't go there because I am concerned I will not want to come back - ever. I do still want to be in that tin with Desi. It's not that I don't think there are still beautiful things in life to enjoy because I do. I was thinking about how nice it was to be out on a cold winter's night watching all the people milling and fading about enjoying their lives and time with friends and loved ones.
But underneath was - is - this deep sorrow, sadness & disappointment that persists and remains pervasive and constant.
The most maddening thing of all is that people want me to just get over it! Or they think it will lesson with time. And I know myself well enough that I know it won't!!! It makes me so angry. It reminds me of that dance sequence in 42nd street when a guy get shot and everyone stops for a second and then continues with their dance. And slowly the dance resumes it's pre-murder, full frenzied routine.
It was shocking and scary to me back then and it still is now. To see that life still goes on in spite of horrible things that happen. It seems so cruel to go on. I feel so disloyal. I feel such guilt. But mostly I just feel sad and I miss him - so very much!
And I really don't care what other people think about that.
I love you my sweet, fierce & feisty, BEST friend I ever had, beautiful, little, Desi Dog...
 |
| Monty Hanks |
My reply:
@tomhanks Very sad day. Very beautiful doggy. There are no words. Said bye to my Desi on 11/23 Worst day ever. No getting over it. So sorry. -- DennisLarkin (@DennisLarkin)
And still today I am grieving as if it just happened. It will be 2 months on Monday and every time I think about it, I feel like I'm going to hurl my guts up. The pain has NOT LESSENED A BIT. It's less frequent but ONLY because I can't go there because I am concerned I will not want to come back - ever. I do still want to be in that tin with Desi. It's not that I don't think there are still beautiful things in life to enjoy because I do. I was thinking about how nice it was to be out on a cold winter's night watching all the people milling and fading about enjoying their lives and time with friends and loved ones.
But underneath was - is - this deep sorrow, sadness & disappointment that persists and remains pervasive and constant.
The most maddening thing of all is that people want me to just get over it! Or they think it will lesson with time. And I know myself well enough that I know it won't!!! It makes me so angry. It reminds me of that dance sequence in 42nd street when a guy get shot and everyone stops for a second and then continues with their dance. And slowly the dance resumes it's pre-murder, full frenzied routine.
It was shocking and scary to me back then and it still is now. To see that life still goes on in spite of horrible things that happen. It seems so cruel to go on. I feel so disloyal. I feel such guilt. But mostly I just feel sad and I miss him - so very much!
And I really don't care what other people think about that.
I love you my sweet, fierce & feisty, BEST friend I ever had, beautiful, little, Desi Dog...
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